Mommy Dreams

A look into my thoughts and dreams of becoming and being a mother while learning how to be a woman with PCOS.

August 30, 2002

All of my posts seem to come in at one big time. :) Oh well, It is the only time I have a chance to write.

I have been bad about exercising and eating right. Hell, I let everything fall to the wayside. But, I am back. 3 days in a row at the gym. Today was a great workout. I need to get a set routine. I was walking around between machines going eny meany miny mo. :) But, there was sweat pouring down my forhead so I definitely got the chance to catch my breath. I think I am going to start an exercise and food blog. I might even do it here. I don't know that anyone is even reading this. E-mail me if you are, please.

I just got done watching Crossroads. I loved it. It would have been a lot better if I did not have a husband coming in and out of the room and a 9 month old begging for ice cream. LOL.. but besides my theatre distractions.. I would say Yaa for a nice good girl chick flick. I love these kind of movies. :)

nuff said.
I did not want to be pregnant. I was just hoping that maybe my body did something right for a change.

August 29, 2002

There is a test sitting in the drawer of the guest bathroom. I bought it yesterday. I am afraid to start up the testing cycle again .. but I know that my 3 week cycle has come and gone. The realistic Heather says don't test it will only get you down.. even if you know mentally that you are not ready. I just wish my damn body would give me a break for once and stay on the track it is on.

August 26, 2002

There have been weird things happening in the complex near dawn. I am now afraid to walk from my car to the apartment after dark. Tonight I was even afraid to walk to the windows in the den when I heard a noise to shut the windows. I had to wake Paul up. We arn't even safe at home!

August 24, 2002

9 month old and pancakes are too cute. :) Now if we can get some cleaning done before work my day would be perfect.

August 23, 2002

It is Friday Five time again.

1. What is your current occupation? Is this what you chose to be doing at this point in your life? Why or why not?
My current occupation is SAHM and Server (aka waitress). I love being a SAHM. The server thing is a twist but I am just happy that it allows me to keep Thomas out of daycares and we bring more money home than if I were working in a "professional" job. If I had to choose where I would be right now. I would probably say SAHM and student. I want to go back to school so badly.

2. If time/talent/money were no object, what would your dream occupation be?
A social worker. I would open a home for sick and troubled kids and their families if they have any. It would really be a compound. Everything would be right there. A place for a doctor to visit to check them out, a huge playroom and playgrounds. Great rooms for them to share (2 at most) and they would be decorated in amazing colors and themes. I want children to feel special and not feel like they have to be the adult when they are kids.

3. What did/do your parents do for a living? Has this had any influence on your career choices?
My parents are both job hoppers. That really made me want to be a SAHM. I want to be at the door when Thomas walks in and be there for him. I don't want to work so many hours that it is his responsibility to keep the house clean and feed his siblings.

4. Have you ever had to choose between having a career and having a family?
There is no choice to me. I would probably drop my dream job if they tried to tell me that my children were not a priority.

5. In your opinion, what is the easiest job in the world? What is the hardest? Why?
The easiest job. Damn. I am thinking of every job that I can think of and there is a difficult part to all of them. I would say the easiest is probably a restraunt or spa reviewer. :) It is plush and you give your opinion without worrying what others think.

The hardest job would probably be the President. He is coordinating with 50 states and other countries. He is in control of nuclear weapons and defending our rights. He still has to keep the people happy but do what is best for the country and the world.

OK, I have a complaint. I am working at CB 4 nights a week plus at least one day on the weekend. Somehow they either think I suck or I am just getting all the crappy sections. I made great money Sunday morning when I walked on and picked up a shift, but, I have not made over 40 dollars each night the rest of the week. We are getting slow and I am getting shafted on the good sections and hours. WAAAAAAA

Robyn led Joy and many others to Bev. Bev's entry inspired this entry from Joy. The only thing I have to change on it is not looking at my body. I do and I get so pissed at myself for being like this at 22.

August 22, 2002

must get nap in order to function at work tonight. Cannot get that point made to my son. He wakes up just as I drift off. He lays in bed withme and then starts to crawl off the edge of the bed. I don't feel like hell but I feel like I can't breathe and my head is a balloon that is floating away.

Ma Ma Ma Ma ... it is like he knows I am going to try to write an email or a blog entry.. gotta go!

Entry up.. Blogger sucks.. try this url ... Mommy Dearest

New Journal Entry up finally. It is not a fun update that I wanted to do but I feel like a brick has been lifted from my chest now that it is writeen down somewhere.

August 06, 2002

I did it. I got a card reader so that I can update you all with some photos. So where is this magical card reader? In the bag silly.. My boy needs his Mama more than I need to get pictures out.. at least that is his opinion!

August 05, 2002

I worked a double yesterday. I was server's assistant in the morning and afternoon. Then I went home (only because I needed to relieve myself of the breastmilk) for a hour and came back and served from 3-11. That is 14hours working with a few 3 minute breaks. I did take 15 minutes at 130 to eat before I left for the next shift. That is the only meal I had all day. Damn.. my legs hurt so bad last night that I could not get comfortable in bed.

Saturday night we decided that Thomas is getting too big to be amused by stuffed animals only. We went out and got him the rings, a train, a piano, and two recess balls. :) He has the train the piano and the rings on his highchair right now and he is having a ball. As long as he can see Mommy and Daddy